My journey from virtually no boundaries to the awareness that I needed boundaries has been a learning experience.

Growing up, there were people in my life who would regularly cross my boundaries. When I would try to talk about how I felt, my feelings were largely dismissed. I was told that the way I felt was “all in my head” and it was insinuated that I was being “overly sensitive” to the things that happened to me.

Through these interactions, I developed low self-worth and low self-esteem. I held a belief, that being the “perfect girl” or the "ideal woman" who didn't have needs of her own, would mean a better relationship. No one taught me that those ideas would take me on a fast track to failed relationships and repeating patterns that didn’t serve me.

There were many times that I wished that I could understand when a person wasn’t right for me, before we were in a relationship. It seemed like I was unable to identify people who would lie to me, mistreat me, or hurt me emotionally. I wanted to be loved for who I was, but that never seemed to be good enough.

After a failed relationship where I experienced verbal abuse, I wanted to figure out where I went wrong. How did I end up in a long-term relationship with someone who would rage scream in my face and point out every flaw they saw in me? Was it me? What had I missed?

My sister passed away a year after I started my research. Her death was directly related to domestic violence. I didn’t want another person to go through the heartbreak of losing their mother, sister, or daughter, so I went on a mission to learn as much as possible about verbal and physical abuse. I wanted to research ways for women to figure out who potential abusers might be, before they got in too deep with the wrong partner. Or how they could identify abuse before it escalated to the point of being admitted to the hospital or brutally killed at the hands of their partner.

Life experience has taught me a lot. My hope is that by sharing what I’ve learned, coupled with my own life lessons, I might be able to teach women to identify patterns that abusers share and learn how to understand when something is seriously wrong in your relationship. The sooner women can identify abuse, the more time they have to create a plan to leave.

My guess is that if you are reading this, you may have struggled with some of the same things I have. I hope that together, we can help you gain a better understanding of yourself and where you may be lacking in the boundary department. My hope is that you become a chain breaker of generational trauma too.

Let me show you how an unsexy sounding topic like "boundaries", will make you extremely sexy to the right people.

Sincerely,

Keely May